The Gym

Last Monday evening (July 5th), I strolled the 6 blocks or so down to one of DCs big chain gyms, which takes up half of the second floor of a newish condo/apartment building in an "up and coming" part of town. (Also in or around the building: a Safeway, a Japanese grill, a great health-food diner/cafe that I frequent, and a hardware store. So you really never have to leave the building! It has a very urban-lunar-colony feel to it.)

I strolled past the wireless cafe seating area (for anyone who couldn't put down the laptop for just a few minutes, even during a pre- or post-workout snack) and up to the counter. Their sales ("membership") rep was out, but the evening manager said I was free to take a look around, and gave a brief outline of the facilities. I thanked him, then promptly whipped out my Smartphone and starting tapping out some notes.

The gym was not crowded, probably due to the holiday weekend. I passed one patron doing 1-arm, alternating cable flies--though given his limited range of motion, he appeared to be using a little too much weight, or he was maxing out and hitting failure as I was happening by. Another women, who appeared to be pretty fit--slender, good muscle tone--was working out on one of the elliptical machines. Both were listening to their headphones, and seemed to be focused on what they were doing.

Further down the row of machines, several other patrons were "working out" on elliptical machines or stationary bicycles, each of which is outfitted with a small flat-screen TV for tuning-in to your workout stats or alternately, cable TV. I made several observations about them: (1) they were not in nearly as good a shape as the first two; (2) they appeared to be wearing much more loose-fitting clothes than the others; (3) they seemed to be as focused on the TV screens as on their "exercise."

Actually, allow me to add a fourth observation, about the machines they were using: they really seemed to take the sharp-edges off of the effort. One of the guys appeared to almost be bouncing up and down on the stair-stepper, using the downward stroke from one leg as a little trampoline for the other. In effect, these machines were operating like training wheels on a bike--only they were really training-wheels for gravity. I could understand if someone has a medical condition, that these might be a great stepping-stone on the road to being able to jog, climb stairs, or ride a bike. But these people were relatively young--younger than I--and they seemed not to have any major locomotion issues. They were using these things as their standard work-out. Why not just... ...jog, climb stairs, or ride a bike? Having done a bit of hiking, I know that a stair-climber would barely begin to prep me for any hike with serious elevation gain. (What would work better? Uh, actually hiking.)

Initially, the gym seemed to offer a potential advantage--being surrounded by, and feeling social pressure from, other gym members to get in a great workout. But that assumes that (a) those gym members or staff who might hold you accountable for your progress are always going to be around while you are working out; (b) that they are ACTUALLY going to hold you accountable (e.g., "dude, you totally sleep-walked through that last set--DO IT AGAIN!") (c) that you actually care what they, or anyone else, thinks; and (d) that you aren't going to try to hide your lack of progress under baggy clothes while zoning out in front of a computer screen.

After that, I passed by a personal trainer and his client. The trainer had model-good-looks, and was obviously in good shape. The client was a little older, possibly around my age or a little more, and possessed, to put it bluntly, a solid beer-gut. (And having once been a not-so-proud owner of one of those puppies myself, yes, I feel I am entitled to judge). I didn't want to be rude and stare at their session, but as I wandered back and forth across the gym, I could gather that theirs was probably going to be a long-term relationship:

-the PT spoke to his client with as much conviction as a B-movie star rehearsing lines for a dish detergent commercial;
-the client actually handed off equipment to the PT as he was finishing sets, rather than lowering the weight to the floor himself;
-the PT and client chatted casually between sets and exercises--easily exceeding the 30-second barrier.

Part of me wanted to walk up to the client and hand him a $10 jump rope and a $14.95 copy of "In Defense of Food," then tell him there's no need to thank me for saving him $55.05 for his session. (Or, assuming he bought a package, over $1,100).

And by the way, what we've learned is the most important factor to health and fitness--diet--was not featured nearly as prominently as spinning cycles and Cybex machines. Given just how critical diet is to actual results, one should expect a "fitness" center to plaster diet- and food-related slogans across its walls like Kim Jong Il splattering propaganda across a North Korean government building. Unfortunately, this gym devoted only a corner 'bar' to selling supplements and featured diet and nutrition in just a fraction of their literature.

I can't be totally negative--the gym was set up nicely, there was plenty of space (more than I've seen at other places where I've been a member), and all of the gear that a PCPer would need--including resistance bands. If I lived in a cramped apartment, and had few other areas in which to work-out, and going outside was not a good idea (and in this neighborhood, it's not), then this place could serve my purposes. There were definitely some members present who were serious, and seriously working out--clearly, the gym was working for them. Was it worth the expense? Who knows; $80/month probably isn't a whole lot if you are a DC lawyer. And if you live in the building, it's pretty convenient.

In the end, I felt that it still comes down to me--shiny new equipment won't necessarily build muscle, just the intensity I bring to its use. To be successful in a gym would also entail successfully avoiding distractions, including the other patrons--and not just the spandex-clad 22-year-old "skinterns." Just as we attend to external cues to tell us when we're "full," it's easy to let the appearance of effort to those around us substitute for the real thing--as the stationary cyclists demonstrated during my visit.

The manager seemed like a good guy, and he didn't try to strong-arm me. I'll probably go back for the 3 free sessions, but really just to take advantage of the pull-up bar and dip station for a few sets, at least until I can buy or make my own. Otherwise, my work-out--the intensity, the burn, the pain--simply has to be wherever I am--gym or no gym.